A new frame of mind

IMG_0485.JPGI’m starting to have a hard time keeping faith that all single men are not douchebags and that there might actually be some decent guys still out there. I’m starting to think that maybe I’m destined to be single forever and should actively choose this life because my heart is too fragile to take any more douchey-ness. I think I deserve someone who genuinely takes care of my heart, not stomps it into the ground without so much as a fleeting thought.

I’m also starting to wonder if it’s me. The type of person i am attracted to just seems to automatically mean dickhead, who will think it’s ok to just stop texting, or to meet a few times and then say they have problems and can’t concentrate on a relationship right now. Why are all 30 something single men flaky, commitment-phobic knobs? I genuinely want to know!

I have wasted so much time talking to men who seem genuinely interested…some for months and then they just disappear – no warning, no signs, no explanation. Some may pop back with an excuse or two but nothing credible or worth the radio silence. This seems to now be an acceptable way of ending things. It’s not.

I don’t think this is an attraction issue, those I have met have never seemed disgusted and have usually met more than once. They talk the talk, they kiss the kiss all that stuff and like an idiot I get hooked in.

But I have to make a decision for self preservation, that this can happen no more, I have been taken for a ride more than enough now and I know that I deserve better. So my new pact to myself is no more late night conversations via Whatsapp – if they want to talk to me they can pick up the phone or invite me out. Emojis are not good enough. No more long distance attempts – an hours drive is not sustainable in my life right now so why kid myself it could work? No more ‘likes’ on POF – if they like me they will find a way to contact me and no more playing games and overthinking – if they don’t like my honest answer then they aren’t the right person. I am so tired of it all.

So it seems that I will be single for the foreseeable future but no change there then, hey? But that’s ok I guess, I’ve got Charlotte, I’ve got friends, I’ve just started my new job, I’ll be moving house soon and selling my flat so lots of things to focus on that don’t involve dealing with idiots (other than colleagues and estate agents) and for now I’ll just cling on to ‘everything happens for a reason’. That’s a real thing, right?

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12 Comments

  1. clairetiptopninjacat

    May 16, 2015 at 1:27 pm

    you have to kiss a lot of frogs but I wish you could cut out the middle man

    1. theperfectjuggler

      May 16, 2015 at 1:30 pm

      Ugh, me too! Definitely too many slimey toads our there! X

  2. deeslifeoutloud

    May 16, 2015 at 2:21 pm

    Completely agree. Strong believer in everything happens for a reason! Xo

    1. theperfectjuggler

      May 16, 2015 at 2:23 pm

      Good good, i am too really, just sometimes takes a while to work out what the reason is/was i guess! X

  3. goldcoinny

    May 16, 2015 at 4:31 pm

    GoldCoinNY.com things always happen for reason. The world is a magnet. Positive and negative energy. Good things happen to good people and bad to bad people. .. keep your hearts clean and honest. Remove all bad thoughts. Karma is real.
    GoldCoinNY.com

    1. theperfectjuggler

      May 16, 2015 at 5:39 pm

      Im working on it! Although i didnt think me or my heart were that bad in the first place! x

  4. clothkitty

    May 16, 2015 at 5:36 pm

    From experience the dickheadedness, radio silence and intermittent contact is not limited or exclusive to the 30 something male. It does not get better ad they get older.

    1. theperfectjuggler

      May 16, 2015 at 5:38 pm

      Oh bugger, thanks for the heads up. ? Fingers crossed this is not across the board for both of us! X

  5. beccysheffield

    May 17, 2015 at 7:18 pm

    I was sent this quote the other day “Some people are together just so they are not alone. Some people want magic. I am one of those people” – you deserve magic Katie….! x

    1. theperfectjuggler

      May 17, 2015 at 7:22 pm

      Love this quote and you’re right no less than magic is what i should be happy with. Hope your magic finds you too! x

  6. gemmacapocci83

    May 20, 2015 at 6:47 pm

    Love the magic quote! I’m a firm believer in that it should be easy. If it’s not, kick the dickheads to the curb x

    1. theperfectjuggler

      May 20, 2015 at 7:00 pm

      It’s a great quote isnt it!? Def one to start living by. X

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