My ex had Charlotte for five days this week so it was a weird way to start the year, he even had the dog so I had no alarm clock other than my actual alarm clock to wake up to!! No sodden sheets to change from our ‘dry at night’ attempts and complete and utter freedom (apart from having to go to work). No chocolate spread on toast to spread and cut exactly correctly. I could eat what I wanted and, as I had promised to eat better it was lovely to eat all the things Charlotte won’t. Prawns, salmon, steak…huge amounts of vegetables and I even had the chance to make lunches for the next day. It took me about two days to miss her more than the normal amount. Things just didn’t seem right without my little sidekick!
I also had plans of the romantic kind for a couple of nights whilst I had my freedom but, as usual they disappeared along with the romantic interest. I haven’t spoken about dating much as I haven’t really been dating much. Everything else in my life had been so busy and stressful that men just seemed to be adding to this so I swore them off for a bit…and then a blast from the past turned up and I decided to give him another chance. Why, I have no idea. I can only blame the fact that we have history and he had a hold on me so I believed his bullshit yet again…however it was officially the last chance he got. I am so done and this time I felt strong enough and angry rather than upset so I made sure I told him so. I said no. I don’t deserve to be treated like that, so no more. So it was nice to be able to mope for that evening but he definitely won’t be getting any more tears from me. I did, however, get this amazing belated Christmas present from a friend. I couldn’t possibly comment as to whether I had a go or not.*
I’ve also been waiting for some results back from the hospital as late last year I had an abnormal result from a smear test and had to go in for a colposcopy. This is when someone looks up your lady parts with, what looks like, a pair of binoculars on a stand. They also have a live feed so I was lucky enough to see my cervix up close and personal. Not something many people can say I’m sure. They took a biopsy the week before Christmas and to say it put a dampener on Christmas celebrations was an understatement. I also felt like I’d been punched hard in the vagina for a couple of days which was less than ideal. I had previously been told that what they had found seemed low risk, but I couldn’t help but worry. On Friday I had a letter saying that I didn’t need any further treatment at this time which can only be good thing. I also found out that January is Cervical Cancer Awareness month so if you have hidden or ripped up the letter saying you’re due for your smear test please book it and go. It’s such a small amount of your time and could save your life.
So a positive and negative which evens out I guess. Let’s see what this week brings!