“How’s the dating going?”
This is a question I get asked most days, so I thought I’d give you a little update on my love life and dating action. But then I realised there was pretty much nothing to tell you. Unless getting RSI from swiping left constantly is worth mentioning?
It does, however still seem to be of massive interest to my friends and colleagues who seem to suggest new things for me to try on a daily basis.
New dating apps, for which I have to tell them that I’ve completed Tinder as there are no more men to swipe in my area. POF seems to stand for Plenty of Fucktards. happn ain’t happening and mysinglefriend.com seems to be haunted (I don’t use this term loosely) by the over 50s…and in some case the over 70s! There are specific sites for over 50s dating but I’m not quite there yet. There’s a Birmingham dating site, there’s a Worcestershire dating site. Heck, if I fancied a long distance romance there’s a Cumbria dating site and an Edinburgh dating site . But to be honest, I don’t have the time or the storage on my phone for anymore!
My friends suggest new hobbies to try that I sadly don’t have time for, or new bars to go to that I don’t have the money or a babysitter, let alone the confidence to sit alone in them.
Most helpfully they will list all of their male friends who would be perfect for me. If only they weren’t in a relationship, or about to go travelling, or a bit of a dick.
So, I’ve come to the conclusion that, sadly, I am destined to be single forever. I have even become so picky that I can’t bring myself to orchestrate a friend with benefits. Therefore I am also likely to be celibate for the foreseeable future too.
So, yeah, the dating news is, there is no news. And that may be the case until I hit it off with a tall, handsome stranger, over a oddly shaped squash in the supermarket, like all the magazines say I will.
Disclosure: I was commissioned to write this post.