10 tips for holidaying with toddlers.

Yesterday was the return trip from our holiday which was taken up by early starts, carb filled breakfasts, tired children, irritating reps, coach trips, badly organised airports and finally landing on British soil and trying to find our way home.

We have had such a wonderful time and I’m all the more grateful for it as it was very close to looking like we weren’t ever going to get there! But whilst we’ve been away I’ve come up with some hot tips for travelling with toddlers:

1. Don’t expect them to help you with any of your luggage. I’m pretty sure if I’d shelled out for a pink sparkly trunki, Charlotte would still not have deigned to pull it around and expect to be pulled around on it instead. This is all the more infuriating as a single parent trying to carry two large suitcases, one carry on suitcase and a large ‘ can double as a beach bag’ handbag.

2. No matter how great the selection is at the buffet your toddler will only eat spaghetti bolognaise (or similar). Just go with it. It’s not worth the dinner time drama EVERY. FRICKING. EVENING.

3. Don’t bother packing any clothing your child did not specifically choose and either pack everything with Peppa Pig, Elsa or Jake the Neverland Pirate or nothing, because if you only have one thing with a character on it they will want to wear it EVERY. FRICKING. DAY.

4. Take squash. Take your bog standard orange and blackcurrant squash because the ‘juice’ “tastes funny” and you will have no choice but to let your child live on neon coloured slushies or sugar high inducing soft drinks. Also trying to wean them off this when you get home is like dealing with an addict going cold turkey.

5. Those 50 episodes of Peppa Pig or Bubble Guppies you downloaded onto the iPad thinking that would keep them entertained for short periods of time? It’s not enough. Keep downloading sister… unless you want to watch the one where Peppa goes on a bus trip 15 times in quick succession.

6. Also, that one book you brought with you, because you didn’t think you’d get a chance to read? Not enough. You will be in your room by 8.30pm, arm trapped under a sleeping child so load up that Kindle too.

7. Buy the expensive gin on the flight there. The one at the all inclusive bar tastes like turps and the bar which serves the proper stuff doesn’t open early enough.

8. Never venture into the shop on the resort, or if you have to, don’t take your child in with you. The sneaky bastards have Kinder surprise eggs at child height! They know they’re like crack for kids and they are taking full advantage. £1.50 an egg?! It better be a bloody Faberge egg under that white and orange wrapper at that price!!

9. Despite my last ‘sun safe’ post, there really is no need to pack five bottles of kids sun cream. They have smaller bodies than we do, therefore use less and you will inevitably leave the expensive special ‘sensitive, hypoallergenic, ultra water resistant’ one in your hotel room so you’ll just use your bog standard Tesco own brand one on them anyway.

10. Do take friends with you. I know sometimes this doesn’t work out but I wouldn’t have coped without my amazing friends and it also meant that Charlotte had two play buddies to entertain and keep her entertained for some of the time, meaning I actually got to do a bit of sunbathing and relaxing too!

It was also my birthday yesterday, but it was only 31 so I’ll write about that another time.

Is there anything else you’d add to the list? I’m feeling brave so may do this all again at some point!


  1. entertainingelliot

    11/05/2015 at 10:17 pm

    *shudders* bubble guppies…what is it about that programme that kids love! I can tolerate most kids show but not that one lol! Hope you had a nice birthday xx

    1. theperfectjuggler

      11/05/2015 at 10:23 pm

      I will never know, probably the same reason they love watching a crazy lady unwrap eggs on YouTube! ?

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