10 years ago…I got married.
25 April 2009 – I got married.
The day that most girls dream of from when they’re little. Wearing lace curtains or tablecloths over your head pretending it’s a train and you’re walking down the aisle to your Prince Charming to live out your happily ever after.
Sadly that is not the case for us all…and although divorce rates are at their lowest since 1973* it’s still a prevalent end to a lot of marriages. Why? Well, there are too many reasons to list here. For me, it was a mixture of trust issues, both fidelity wise and money wise, poor mental health and an inability to communicate with one another (mainly because I would talk and he would ignore me) that led to our downfall. Add a long spate of my husband being out of work and a colicky baby who didn’t sleep into the mix and it was a recipe for a pretty gruesome ending.
25 April 2014 – I handed in the petition for divorce.
Yep, the higher beings were having a laugh when I stepped into my solicitors 5 years on from that sunny day inside our local church. But rather than signing my marriage certificate, I was signing my petition for divorce to say that I wanted to end my marriage. We had split up in September 2013 and those 6 months had been the hardest months of my life but also the most liberating. I had finally freed myself of the constant sadness and loneliness and had taken charge of my life and ensuring Charlotte’s was going to be happier and in a healthier environment. I was still sad and lonely but in an entirely different way one I had charge of and knew I could change for myself.
25 April 2019 – I’m a totally different woman.
I work in a job I love for the most part. A job that challenges me and gives me new skills most weeks. I earn a good wage that means I can feel financially safe. I have voluntarily been to the gym today both for my physical and mental health. I went on a third date with a really nice guy last night. I live in a house that I love and I have put time and energy into making it a home for Charlotte, me and our friends.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing. As is that old cliché, time. Time really does heal wounds. It helps give you perspective. It helps you find yourself again. It helps you discover new things about yourself. Yes, I do still regret some decisions but I don’t dwell on the past. I much prefer to focus on the now and plan things for the future too. Who knows where I’ll be in 5 years time. But I do know I can survive whatever life
*stats from the Office of National Statistics