I can entirely see why some single mums decide to stay single now. The emotions and time needed for the whole dating game and the emotions and time needed to be a mum are more emotions and time than one woman has!
Being a mum, single or not, working or not, is tiring. It is draining, it is also the most joy you can possibly have, seeing your child grow, develop and learn. It takes all your energy to keep going when your child is poorly at 4am and then get up for work, school, nursery or daily chores but you do it because you’re their mum. They can test your patience to limits you never knew you had and it takes restraint, lots of restraint. As a single mum it can also be lonely.
But in order to do the dating thing, in the hope that one day you won’t be sitting in the evenings watching yet another rerun of How I Met Your Mother or the Big Bang Theory with only the dog to keep you company, you need to muster up some energy to act like a normal, interesting individual with whom someone may want to spend time with. If you do get far enough to meet someone and they don’t take one look at the bags under your eyes and run for the hills, you then have to find the time to see them (even harder if they have kids too), still look alive and well put together and not fall asleep whilst watching a film or yawn despite the interesting conversation over dinner. If you get as far as sleeping together this brings on a whole other load of time consuming exercises as hairy legs might just kill the mood a bit and you deserve to feel sexy and wanted so you want to make the effort.
All that time adds up to more than is available for any sane woman who intends to sleep at some point. The ups of the first few dates and then the downs if they decide it’s not working or even worse just stop texting you. It’s all just too much to handle when trying to do all the mum things as well. So I have decided that maybe the dating thing needs to go on hold for a bit. The internet dating apps have been deleted and the email alerts have been stopped. It is a nice confidence boost to get a notification that someone likes the look of you, but I don’t need my life and self worth being decided by complete strangers on a dating app. I need to make sure I have that myself and I have enough time to commit fully to the best relationships I have. The one with my daughter and the one with myself.