Try not to get burnt!
So…tinder! If you’re not aware of it, it is a ‘dating’ app of sorts. What peoples version of ‘dating’ is seems to be broad and varied though. It is officially one of the most superficial and bizarre apps going I think, but for some reason, after a few friends mentioned it (married or in long term relationship friends who had heard about it through other single friends) it intrigued me so I downloaded it and decided to have a go.
A warning at this point though… if you’re not sure you’re ready to step into the big, scary world of dating yet I would not recommend this as the place to start!
I set up my profile just after joining match thinking the more the merrier but I was nowhere near ready for it! I set up my profile with a few nice photos from Facebook, set my radius (20 miles), my gender I was looking for (man), my age range (27-40) and then dipped my toe in.
The general gist of tinder for those who don’t know is…a photo of a guy, his name and and his age pops up, if you like the look of him you can check out a few more photos and either swipe right for ‘yes’ or left for ‘no’. You can also do this on your first glance of they’re definitely not your type. So, I started swiping and after a few minutes found I couldn’t swipe right for anyone! The only way the guy knows you said ‘yes’ to them is if they swipe right for you too, so they would never know if I’d said no to them or yes if they didn’t pick me too but I just felt so uncomfortable saying yes to anyone! The hot guys were too hot and I presumed would never pick me, and there were a lot of definite no’s, so I didn’t get anywhere! The whole idea of it scared me and so I put it down and went to hide.
For a couple of months.
I then decided I felt a bit braver having been on a few dates from match.com so had another go and even swiped right for a few good looking men, turns out some of them had swiped right for me too! Another boost to the confidence but Eeek!
However…a few notes/warnings that I have unfortunately learnt through experience.
a) the radius is well off so people who tinder had said were 20 miles away actually turned out to be 100+ miles away which kind of defeats the point of finding someone local to you.
b) you will see people you know, married or not. You have to choose what you do with this information.
c) men seem to be perfectly happy to post photos of their penises – only their penises!! (I can only presume they’ve set up a Facebook account especially for this)
c) men seem to think it is a good thing if they post their wedding pictures or pictures if them snuggling up with an ex. I’m not sure about you but that seems a weird way to try and get a date!
d) The range of what people seem to be looking for is crazy. I have had messages from men who give me their postcode straight away so I can ‘pop over for a shag’. Ummm…no thank you! I have had guys who have freely admitted they are married (unhappily of course!) Boo hoo for them but not helping you cheat, sorry! I have had guys who start off seeming normal then after exchanging phone numbers have whatsapp’d me a picture of their penis/bum/or worse…and men lie, lots and can keep up with the lies seemingly for a long time. :/
I have also chatted with a few nice guys, but either due to distance or diaries have only been on a date with one guy. A IT manager from Bristol. A bit of a trek for a date but I love and know Bristol well so it wasn’t a big issue. We met half way. A great first date at Jamie’s Italian with even a kiss at the end, but only one date as he went quiet on me a couple of weeks later. I can only presume someone else cropped up or the distance became an issue.
So to sum up, if you’re looking for something deep and meaningful I’m not sure tinder is the place to find it but for a bit of light hearted fun it’s worth a go, and you never know, sparks might fly! Happy swiping!
Ps. If you’re in need of a giggle at some of the worst lines used on tinder a scroll through https://tinderlines.com is a must! *not for the under 18’s